Coastal Collector T-Shirts

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

Local Knowledge

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

Try me/try me/try me...

'It must be the dead sea.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

true love.

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

If you hold the conch up to your ear, you can hear the ocean swearing at you.

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

Feeling for shells

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

Red Wine

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

"I can hear the sea boiling."

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Sarah Palin Fact #2783, Sarah Palin makes her own diamond earrings by squeezing coal.

"I like wine gadgets more than I like the wine!"

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"Neat Nick!": Tidiest cowboy in the west