Coach Inn Worker Gifts

First appearance of Mr. Samuel Weller

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Counting ribs

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"You owe me five bucks."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'I'd like a round table!'

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'We'll start with a menu and a glass of water.'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"