Co-parents Gifts

"My child's school is having an auction, so can your entire life come to a halt?"

"I don't think live-tweeting counts as co-parenting."

Just a month into their divorce, Joyce began to sense that she and Ron were subtly competing for their kids' affection.

"These are payments for babysitters, but it's more exciting to pretend I'm a drug dealer."

"Next time, YOU can tell him to go on the naughty step."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

'Dad, try to catch some jellyfish to go with my peanut butter.'

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

The relay race

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

"Where would young families be without grandparents as unpaid childminders?"

"You shouldn't have!"

Quick Response Forces at East 89th Street

Sweets

"You be the Boogey man tonight!"

"Mommy, can I help you feed the troll?"

"Sorry to break it to you like this, son, but you're not adopted."

'Ask your other father.'

"Mommy want you to have everything she had when she was growing up."

'Stop nagging! I'm fathering.'

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'

"Shall we go talk with those au pairs?"

Be honest with your children about why you're getting divorced...

'Pick up your feet when you walk.'

'It must have belonged to Mom before she married Dad. He calls it his step-ladder.'