Co-parenting Survivor Gifts

"I got custody of the kids. Do you want one?"

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

The relay race

Ereptile Dysfunction

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

'How many kids do you actually have?'

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

"Can't you just say 'bippity boppity boo' and make all these messy divorce negotiations turn into pumpkins or something?"

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

'These anti-depressants aren't for swallowing, sir, they're for throwing at your ex-wife.'

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

"I'm letting him soak."

"Sometimes I feel the only thing keeping us together is our fear of the children."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"If you ask me, we're better off without her."

"You be the Boogey man tonight!"

'Muriel had a traumatic experience at a topless beach -- she was sunbathing, and a toddler attacked her.'

'I think i cried myself inside out!'

"The babysitter wants to know where you keep your vodka?"

"Recently separated."

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

'I'm sorry Sandy, but it'll never work out. We're just Poles apart.'

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."