Co-parenting Survivor T-Shirts

"I got custody of the kids. Do you want one?"

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

"If we synchronize our tantrums, they'll have to stop talking. You in?"

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

The relay race

Ereptile Dysfunction

'How many kids do you actually have?'

Mother's Whistler.

"I'm letting him soak."

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

'These anti-depressants aren't for swallowing, sir, they're for throwing at your ex-wife.'

"Can't you just say 'bippity boppity boo' and make all these messy divorce negotiations turn into pumpkins or something?"

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

"Sometimes I feel the only thing keeping us together is our fear of the children."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'I think i cried myself inside out!'

'Muriel had a traumatic experience at a topless beach -- she was sunbathing, and a toddler attacked her.'

"Recently separated."

"If you ask me, we're better off without her."

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

"You be the Boogey man tonight!"

"The babysitter wants to know where you keep your vodka?"

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

'I'm sorry Sandy, but it'll never work out. We're just Poles apart.'

'Ask your other father.'