Clumsy Texter Pillows

'Sometimes I wish I was all thumbs, then I could text faster.'

Showbiz Awards

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

"I dropped my goblet!"

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 5. Forget how hot the coffee is while you're thinking how cool you look sitting in a coffee shop.

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

'He doesn't actually drink much. He spills most of it!'

"I'll help you find your glasses after I find my horn."

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Kid drops his 13 flavor ice cream cone

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'I told you not to slam the door!'

'Was that a spiritual insight, or just clumsiness?'

Museum. It's great we got this job moving statues here at the museum. CRASH! That was no time to make a joke about a "piece of art."

'Well, it WAS worth nine thousand dollars. Sorry about that.'

'Can I help it if I was given all thumbs and two left feet?'

Sensitivity Training For Bulls.

"Football concussion - one beer too many at the game, and I fell off my seat."

"If you need me, I'll be in my room watching YouTube videos, texting, Skyping and blowing off my homework."

"I've got a bad feeling about this Kenneth.'

"I just sent a penny to your bank account for your thoughts."

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

'Not again?! Honey, let your assistant do the shredding.'

"I dropped my phone and even though I picked it up within 5 seconds, the screen still cracked."

"The good news is I've cleaned up my office. The bad news is I think I threw out my computer."

Newton's Clumsier Brother Discovers Gravity.

"You stepped right in dog ship and now you're dragging it all over the house."

Spilt wine

Unlucky sculpture.

"I kept dropping my phone and cracking the screen. So, my parents bought me a thicker cover."

Humpty Dumpty's Cat. You really gotta learn to land on your feet.