Cloud Watchers Gifts

"There's no way he'll notice, right? I mean, all turtles look the same."

"Keep it down up there!!"

'The poor economy is hitting everywhere, Have you noticed they cut back on pockets and halos.'

Angels aren't lackeys - do thine own work.

Humans gather to witness the celestial miracle of a 'Transitory Solar Appearance'.

"Seriously? You're afraid of heights?"

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

"Wow, I wish I'd thought of that! My last words were pretty naf."

"Fire drill?"

"Good game."

'T.M.I.F.'

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"A full moon! It's like Mother Nature turning on a night light!"

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Where Indian ink came from.

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Man showing in the rain.

Watch the skies: UFO buffs all stare at the sky, yet alien is amongst them.

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"If you ask me, that sky looks awfully threatening!"

"It's so relaxing watching the clouds change shape as they drift by. You could almost forget you're a dog. Is it my imagination… or does that cloud look a bit like a cat? Arf! Arf! Arf!"

Local News in Heaven

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Wow - Heavy, man"

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Look man, no wings!'

"Folks, if you look out of your window at those clouds below, you'll have a nice view of the Grateful Dead dancing bears."

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'