Clothing Conundrum Enthusiast Gifts

'Doc, could someone help me with my shoe laces, and my truss...and can't get my zip... undone...'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

"Underweird bras."

"That shirt is so last year."

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"Honestly sometimes I'd like to pretend I don't know you!"

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

I love my cape

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Happy Brithday

"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

Boxers vs. Briefs

"Tammy's Style Shop went on a selling spree."

"He'll do anything to get his underwear sponsors a mention!"

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Kangaroo wearing a hoodie with a pouch.

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

F&E Designs. My reversible jacket didn't turn out very well.

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

"I put my pants on the same as every other middle-aged person—in constant fear that the button will pop off under pressure."

"We are looking for the non-yucky apparel."

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

"Is that my skirt?!!"

"It depends on what attitude you wish to convey. This, for example, is part of our 'contempt' line."