Clothesline Enthusiast Gifts

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"That shirt is so last year."

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

“This daily metamorphosis never fails to amaze me. Around the house, I’m a perfect idiot. I come to court, futon a black robe, and, by God, I’m it!”

Boxers vs. Briefs

'How does this one feel?'

'This is a very important trial, Ferguson -- you'd better put pants on.'

"Tammy's Style Shop went on a selling spree."

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

Presentation Skills: 1. Preparation

"It's so drapey—should I get something with a crisper line?"

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

"Is that my skirt?!!"

"He just woke up from hibernation."

'You're going to school dressed like that? I can hardly see your underwear!'

Getting older is . . . when you start to dress for comfort rather than style.

Professor Lars P. Olafson. Inventor of the scatter cushion.

"Don't worry. The button is purely decorative."

“If I buy this sweater, we’ll also have to buy a rustic little place upstate.”

'I thought you said 36 inch neck and 16 inch sleeve.'

Teddy for each day of the week

'Mom, you did say it is a bath robe.'

'But you particularly wanted a sleeveless pullover!'

'I know you want to draw attentin to your blog, but having a wardrobe malfunction won't help.'

'Never, Ever...pull on a loose thread hanging from your shirt.'