Clothesline Acrobat Gifts

Cigarette Break.

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Bobbies library of jeans

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"That shirt is so last year."

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

'Looks more fun than it is. I never realized pole dancing was so tough.'

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

"Darling, I love how you've curated yourself."

"Wouldn't it be nice to slip into a simple little black number for a change?"

Dolphin tricks.

“This daily metamorphosis never fails to amaze me. Around the house, I’m a perfect idiot. I come to court, futon a black robe, and, by God, I’m it!”

"How many capsule wardrobes is this again?"

Closet.

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

'This is a very important trial, Ferguson -- you'd better put pants on.'

F&E Designs. My reversible jacket didn't turn out very well.

'You must have something in my size?'

Presentation Skills: 1. Preparation

F and E Dry Cleaners. I've added custom touches for some of our customers. I assumed the marathoner wants her colors to run. And the investigative journalist wants the dirt out there for everybody to see. I shrink the clothes for the psychotherapist, of course. And I limit the starch for the dietitian. This is for the writer of mystery novels? Yeah, I think he'll love it! The more wrinkles the better!

"I don't really have the skirt for this blouse."

"He just woke up from hibernation."

"Is that my skirt?!!"

It's my summer robe.

I used to swing from chandeliers. Now I move as quickly as possible from restroom to restroom.

Sweaters. Remember, son, we're men. We walk in, we buy, we walk out. No browsing.

'You're going to school dressed like that? I can hardly see your underwear!'

'Do these tight jeans make my top look big in this...?'

A tightrope walker balances while holding hearts.

'Now, are you looking for a closet or something under a bed?'

Golfer trying to choose which pair of sunglasses to wear.

'Synchronised swimming.'

'Termites devour my house, the kids devour the hair off my head and taxes devour all my profits... I'm at the bottom of the food chain'!

'Mom, you did say it is a bath robe.'