Clothes Making Gifts

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Ripped Jeans

"It's 25% cotton and 75% made in China"

Killer Executive Suits.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'She's so put together!'

Cat Tie

"This is daring, but I like it."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"How soon will this be a remnant

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

At the suit makers

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."