Cloth Calamity Gifts

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"Honestly sometimes I'd like to pretend I don't know you!"

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

Disaster in the kitchen.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"My mom said a tornado hit my room. I checked my weather app, and it said clear skies."

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Jeffrey N.: The Guy who managed to get the lead out of his pants, but they were still the wrong pants.

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

'Kate was running late for work and to make matters worse she put a ladder in her stockings'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

'We need someone who dresses as badly as you and has an ability to accept criticism...are you interested in the job, jerk?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'I had a wardrobe malfunction. I lost my pocket protector.'

"Why must you insist on making knee-high socks out of all my ankle socks?"

'I'm from the exterminators, here to kill moths...Those devils, it's worse than I thought.'

"I wish to complain about the chlorine level in the swimming pool. . ."

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Sandwich Fail

Laughing when someone shrinks there favorite shirt only makes matters worse.

"You are doing this on purpose, don't you!"

'I'm sorry, sir, but be have specific instructions from your wife not to sell you a speedo.'

"Ever since COVID, I have no taste."

'Ah! The old comfy shorts eh? Still good for a couple more summers I see.'

'You must be the new girl.'

Linen drapers trying to sell thier wares to a customer.

'HA-HA!!'

'I can't stop, it's a stimulus package.'

"I can't hear you over your shirt."

"That's a classic example of fashion malware."