Cloth Calamity Gifts

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"Honestly sometimes I'd like to pretend I don't know you!"

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

Disaster in the kitchen.

"My mom said a tornado hit my room. I checked my weather app, and it said clear skies."

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Jeffrey N.: The Guy who managed to get the lead out of his pants, but they were still the wrong pants.

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'Kate was running late for work and to make matters worse she put a ladder in her stockings'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'We need someone who dresses as badly as you and has an ability to accept criticism...are you interested in the job, jerk?'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'I'm from the exterminators, here to kill moths...Those devils, it's worse than I thought.'

"Why must you insist on making knee-high socks out of all my ankle socks?"

'I had a wardrobe malfunction. I lost my pocket protector.'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"I wish to complain about the chlorine level in the swimming pool. . ."

Sandwich Fail

Smoke gets in your eyes.

"You are doing this on purpose, don't you!"

Laughing when someone shrinks there favorite shirt only makes matters worse.

'I'm sorry, sir, but be have specific instructions from your wife not to sell you a speedo.'

'You must be the new girl.'

'Ah! The old comfy shorts eh? Still good for a couple more summers I see.'

Linen drapers trying to sell thier wares to a customer.

"Ever since COVID, I have no taste."

'HA-HA!!'

'I can't stop, it's a stimulus package.'

"I can't hear you over your shirt."