Fashion Disaster Aficionado Gifts

'I'm sorry, sir, but be have specific instructions from your wife not to sell you a speedo.'

'We need someone who dresses as badly as you and has an ability to accept criticism...are you interested in the job, jerk?'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"Honestly sometimes I'd like to pretend I don't know you!"

The Bland Leading the Bland

Jeffrey N.: The Guy who managed to get the lead out of his pants, but they were still the wrong pants.

'Kate was running late for work and to make matters worse she put a ladder in her stockings'

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

"You might consider new socks as well."

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

"Sorry, sir, but we have a strict dress code."

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

'Oh, so when you said wear a...Ok, now I get it.'

"You wear a necktie with a suit jacket and white socks with brown shoes?? The guy who shot you did it absolutely right!"

"Dad."

"Why must you insist on making knee-high socks out of all my ankle socks?"

'You are a fool...I said 'Why don't you wear a BANDANA!'

Cargo briefs

'I had a wardrobe malfunction. I lost my pocket protector.'

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

"That's not 'smart casual'."

'This is Hell, madam. Everything you try on will make your butt look big.'

"For the hundredth time, you snip a lose thread you don't pull it."

"So you didn't get the neck-a-chief memo?"

"Hello. I'm the bluebird of good taste and I seem to be lost."

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

The Burger and the Whopper.