Clique Observer Gifts

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Teddy queuing for the Bathroom

Magic Act

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

There are planets where lifeforms are almost human...

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

North Korea

"De plane! De plane! De bird! De bird!...."

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"We understand each other and respect each other's privacy." "That cat hates me."

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

Last night I was in a seafood restaurant and I noticed that all of the sliced lemons were wering shower caps. That's so that when you squeeze the lemon, it doesn't spray your dinner companion. So I was told. My point is that as long as there ar people putting shower caps on lemons, I'm not as crazy as I thought I was.

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

Life's a bench.

Lady to lady about disguised lady: 'She's new to our Secret Sister program.'

'I like it!'

Pyramid Garden

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

If a tweet is sent out and no one signs up to read it, does it exist? Happens millions of times a day.

'What was all that yelling outside?'

Euro-Meltdown

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.

"It's 6 o'clock. Do you know what's trending now?"

Caution: Stuff and things next 4 miles

'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'

"I'm going to ride it out."

'Who wants to be man's best friend anyway.'

Self-Improvement/Self-Involvement

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

"These humans are WEIRD! - They pick up our poop; carefully tie it up into little bags and then throw it into the nearest bush. . . !"