Clinical Trial Aficionado Gifts

'Before I give you these pills, I want to find out how the guinea pigs are doing.'

Trial by Media

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Wilhelm Rontgen's first attempt at X-rays: shining a bright light through Madame Rontgen.

"You can't plead cute."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

'Side effects may include....'

Plasma Ball

It's an experiment.

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

'And this is scraps.'

'I'm inventing an acid that eats through anything.'

Plasma Ball

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

Counsel's Opinion.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'...may the best pharmaceuticals win.'

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."