Client Care Specialist Pillows

'He's never happy when he gets less than 100% in his customer feedback!'

'You've got to give it to Jim, there's nothing he won't do for his customers.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

Online form - Submit.

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"Did you speak to our client in Australia?"

"Well so much for our policy of putting the customer second!"

"Wait, mister Samson. The manager said he'll give you a full refund and a year's worth of free stylings."

Communication

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"More croutons, sir?"

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

"Look at them over there, looking all smug with their clients and accounts and stuff."

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

Our Troubled Chowders

"I'm considering going client side. That way I can still be an a*****e and actually get away with it."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

'Yes sir, I'll get my chief daydreamer onto it now.'

"We had to hire extra help for our help desk."

business lunch

Credit card campaign ad

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

"$68,000? You said that deceptive ad would cost me $23,000."

"Manufacturing will take place in China, R&D in Korea, customer support will be run from Mumbai and logistics handled in Vietnam."

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

Playing with a buyer? Well have a bad game, dear.

Ban news chair

'This is my dance celebrating our new customer service guarantee!'

"I'm sorry to trouble you yet again with internet issues."

"We find putting the customer first works for us!"

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'