Client Relations Specialist Pillows

'The customer is King'

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"Your agent is ready to look you in the eye now."

Credit card campaign ad

'This customer care policy is getting beyond a joke!!'

'This is my dance celebrating our new customer service guarantee!'

"I put myself in my clients' shoes. That way I can run faster than they can."

Ban news chair

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'How fast can you hype?'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Online form - Submit.

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Create some buzz!

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Direct Marketing...

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

Target your message

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."