Clergy Dynamics Explorers Gifts

'Now I know you've been bending over backwards to accommodate your superiors. Word of advice; bend over forwards.'

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Priest's 'To do' list.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Golfing Bishop.

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"That one shows our office cliques."

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

A child interrupting family prayers

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'