Cleanup Avoider Gifts

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

"I still haven't cleaned up from the party."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"I'm not just cleaning up - it's part of a conversation I'm having with Mum."

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

I don't get it. You can make a goal from one end of the field to the other, but you can't hit the laundry basket six inches away.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

'Why can't you do that while I'm on the golf course?'

'I went to the city once, but I couldn't get used to the crowds'.

The pair of socks waited confidently in the corner, secure in the knowledge that no matter what happens, no one ever suspects the socks.

'I give up! Let's exchange this for an easy-to-clean cage!'

'Yeah, I guess I have kind of let it go.'

'That's the plan then, gang. We all move in with Bruno on bath nights!'

"Tia Carmen, don't they say that we're made of dust?"

"You're in my laundry's favorite seat."

'My last book did not have a happy ending. I had to pay a fine.'

The new, improved "Hide-A-Dysfunction" Slip Cover

"Me, I'm not nocturnal by nature, but by choice: I try to avoid human-contact as much as I can..."

'Thier clean-up rate isn't very good...'

'Let's make a big End-Of-The-World-party! Hey, we wouldn't even have to clear the mess up the next day!'

'If you want your husband to help out more, buy this one.'

'I put a dab of Pine-Sol behind each ear and my husband thinks I've been cleaning all day.'

Fear of housework.

'I purposely keep it messy so no monsters move in.'