Cleaning Avoidance Gifts

"Tia Carmen, don't they say that we're made of dust?"

"It never fails...as soon as it's time to clean up everyone leaves!"

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

In the art gallery

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

"I still haven't cleaned up from the party."

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

'Only peanut butter and jelly fingers, Sir.'

'I'm just draining the reservoir.'

'My mom invented baths!'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

Medieval Torture

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

"Geoffrey's new year resolution was to give up self-respect."

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

"Ok, ok, I'll use a bloody coaster!"

"Oh, Larry, you’ve got a tiny piece of kibble ri-i-ight there."

"I'm just going to stay in the car until all the bees die off."

'Don't mind my husband, he just wants to be 65!'

Ham Sanitizer

'Why can't you do that while I'm on the golf course?'

"I asked at reception for the person who runs the school... and they sent me to you!"