Cleanliness Crusaders Gifts

'Kids! I've asked you to clean up you bedrooms 7 times now!!!'

'I don't care if you're wearing them again tomorrow, just put your clothes away!'

'Another Monday morning with me and my incompetent caregiver.'

'I've got concerns about the cleanliness of your kitchen!'

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

Cat litter box with feces spelling out the words "Clean me".

"Customer services?...about this self cleaning cooker."

Pete's trying to groom himself"

Brighter than white laundry soap.

'You're right. All it needs is a woman's touch.'

'We'd better go clean our rooms - Mom's getting serious.'

"Look, I used handsanitizer without you telling me to."

"Mom, brooms are so nineties! Nowadays you have a robot vacuum cleaner!"

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

Health Advisory: Flint Water has lead, Ann Arbor water has dioxane.

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Brad discovers what can happen when you don't wash your gym clothes...

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

Ironing day.

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

"I told you to wash the car, but no..."

"It's trickle down."

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

Global Warming.

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

'Yes you have to work Earth Day.'

Fumes from furniture

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

"It would kill him to run a vacuum?"

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."