Cleanliness Critics Pillows

"This looks like more fun than taking a bath."

Biofelineism

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

Wash your hands

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

In the art gallery

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

'Yes I'm afraid this room is bugged, but don't worry, it's just Clostridium Difficile'

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

Using public relations to change perspective about the oil spill in the Gulf...