Cleanliness Critics Pillows

"This looks like more fun than taking a bath."

Biofelineism

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Wash your hands

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

In the art gallery

'Yes I'm afraid this room is bugged, but don't worry, it's just Clostridium Difficile'

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

Using public relations to change perspective about the oil spill in the Gulf...

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'