Cleaning Conjurer Gifts

Math Department Janitor

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Needs salt!'

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Ghostbasters 3

Witch's Brew.

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

"Darn it, lost another swab."

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

The Thinker and Creative Thinker.

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

Advertising Agency - "...Fooling some of the people all of the time is damn hard work."

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"

"Anyone having a 'Eureka!' moment?"

"Eye of newt, wing of bat, blah blah blah, here's one I made earlier."

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

My Cauldron Rules

You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.

'This is taking forever. We should've just microwaved it.'

'And Fenwick, those pesky third quarter stats? Don't tweak 'em �' torque 'em!'

Fallen Angel.

Try typing "wishes," then hold down the "command" key.