Chaos Conjurer Gifts

"Amazing - the event horizon of a black hole!"

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

What My Day Feels Like

Fight or Flight

Before I can stop and smell the roses, I need time to stop and plant the @#$% roses.

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

A woman drawing birds makes them fly around the room.

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

Human Recources Management

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

"Can you rewrite this in 3-D?"

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

Guitars in Heaven

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

"So I bought this doohickey that is very good with chaos."

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

The inevitable conflict of interest facing every crisis manager.

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

Time Management Conultancy - Out, Out

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

California fires and Coronavirus

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

The horn of paper

Fallen Angel.

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"