Cleaning Gifts

Ned helped out

"Mom sent us over while she gets the carpet cleaned."

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

"I'm doing some reorganizing - are there any of your possessions that you want to keep?"

"That's my sock drawer- I just wanted you to see how organized I am."

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

Swastika Toilet Brush

'You're nothing without me and you know it.'

"Yeah, I keep a clean desk. Now all the mess is in the computer!"

Bad Housekeeping: The Magazine For Women Who Couldn't Care Less

Noah calls out: 'Hey, could we have some volunteers to stay and help clean up?'

'No more mergers until I get this one cleaned up.'

'You won't get me to sit on the couch and discuss my obsession until I straighten things up, Dr Hunter.'

Family working together

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

"Nice going. That was one of our guys, just trying to clean out the gutters."

Woman Bishop with vacuum cleaner. Vicar saying 'It's to appease the traditionalists.'

'Two socks in, two socks out. Let the good times roll.'

Slowly, almost imperceptibly, feelings of futility started to creep in,

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

'Next time, we should clean up the microwave before it comes to this.'

Aside from a few minor stumbling blocks, which made vacuuming difficult, the project was going well.

'Cleaning goes against entropy and the natural order.'

Ed's Car Wash,

"You can't bring that. Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but nature abhors the sound of a vacuum."

"Desktops are off-limits. Anything on the floor is sweepers-keepers."

'Perhaps, Mr. Hartwelder, you could arrange to have the company pay me in cash rather than stock options.'

'It's a miracle the way he keeps his desk so clean.'

Window washer with springs on his feet.

'Oh geez, looks like this new harness has a trick release on it, so be careful there, Bob... Bob?'

'The upside of being unproductive is it allows you to have a very neat desk.'

Sweeping under the carpet

'You got rid of the spots? But this was a polka dot shirt!'

'I wondered when you were going to clean the refrigerator.'