Clean-cut Humor Lover Gifts

Scruffy man on desert island has written in the sand 'Help!! Need make grooming products.'

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

'My dear boy its a wonderful display of post modern expressionism with overtones of Dada.'

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

'This one is for not intervening in countries that don't threaten us.'

'You had me at hell.'

'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

'We dicovered that this cures hypochondria without administering it.'

Sisyphus, 117 million years on

"I hope this isn't the start of an insensitive joke that was once considered funny."

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

'...it's probably blood on the boardroom carpet.'

Giving thanks.

'You look lovely today.'

"Just a reminder, … I'll be billing all seven personalities together."

'If you two don't mind, I need my mop.'

American Gothic lol

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

I wanna find out about your let to buy options!

'The doctor doesn't like computers, he prefers to lose patients' records the old fashioned way.'

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

"If you can't sleep, try playing some relaxing human noises."

Priest reading 'Confessions of a Window Cleaner'.

'We serve comfort food in a laid back atmosphere, so lower your expectations, be prepared to wait, and I'll be back for your order unless I go home.'

"The voice pattern is similar to Dad's."