Classroom Management Gifts

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"May I have your attention please???" "NO!!!"

"Can you help me, Mrs. Green? This wasn't covered in any of my education courses!"

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principle's office. It's nothing personal, It's just a classroom management thing.'

'I am going to close my eyes and cover my ears. I expect the student who took my chair, my desk and my chalkboard to bring them back.'

"Why in the world do they call this approach 'cooperative learning'?"

"What do I do? I'm a high stress teacher. I mean a high school teacher."

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'

'First off, always identify and corral the ring leader...'

"It wasn't me jumping up and down and yelling in class. It was the sugar talking."

'I'm afraid Miss Johnson has lost control of her class!'

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

Teacher's Wing-Mirror

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"I need a good book on classroom management. My class went from The Learning Channel to The Jerry Springer Show in one week."

'I find the best way to stop students from always talking to each other in class, is to keep asking questions. Then they have nothing to say.'

"I'm feeling fine, Mrs. Green! I haven't had to say, 'pay attention' once today!"

"Now that the person chewing gum so loudly has finally stopped, perhaps we can all pay attention to what I'm doing here."

Class Rules

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

A Puppet Named Juan

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

'Sorry about the wreaths and flowers. It's the spot where the previous teacher was finally over-powered by primary seven.'

"I'm rooted in humanism but today was a rough day so for a little extra support in managing my class, I put on my intimidating face."

'You can't just get up and leave without permission.'

"This is going to be a fun year."

'Will the student making those disruptive sounds stop? Fair warning! I am gathering evidence and I'm wearing a wire.'

'I'd like to overwhelm them with instructional excellence, but I'm not above winning through intimidation.'

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'I always hold my cat when I teach. It calms me, and the class, down.'

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

"Try not to anticipate trouble, Miss Mead."