Classroom Helper Gifts

"Sorry, volunteers need a tardy slip from the Principal's office too."

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

I love being right.

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

The History Teacher

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

"She's a high grade teacher."

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

I'm in the den mom, reading the newspaper for social studies class.

"I'm sick of writing book reports on spec."

'After what you said about mine, guess whose Mum has just found in the attic?'

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

'Can you read this one for me? I have a book report on it tomorrow.'