Classroom Gifts

Smirking or Non-smirking

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"Yes, your report is three pages. But, what concerns me is that your font size is 80."

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

The History Teacher

'Expelled! Does that mean I get to have my apple back, Sir?'

'I won the garlic eating competition.'

'You'll have to admit we have a pretty low teacher-student ratio in this school. One against twenty three.'

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

'My birthday? The 30th January. What year? Every year Sir.'

"Please Sir... if we don't like this history can we choose a better one?"

"Ugh....the kids are awful, the parents are mean and all I do in my free time correct papers. I hate my job!"

A Puppet Named Juan

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Children's education

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

"'How to Buy Tickets on Bezos' Spaceship so You Can Live to See Your Teens,' by Chloe Butler."

Teacher's pet dog

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

Education Guidance