Classified Cuisine Aficionado T-Shirts

'I'm sorry sir. I'm afraid you can't see the menu. It's top secret.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Full English Breakfast.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

"Regular service or affected?"

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

Quartet of chefs.

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"....and hold the garlic."