Classical Music Comedian Gifts

William Tell Overture

'La Donna E Mobile.'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"The Just Me Band"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Elevator Music

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

Double Saxophone

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

Rap-scallions

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Zappo's Air Guitars.

Edward Elgar.

An amplified harp

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

Dr. Phil takes it home.

No Instruments Please

"Ding" "Dong"