Classic Toys T-Shirts

Jack-in-a-box popping out of a computer monitor.

"In my day, we got bubblegum in our hair, not drones!"

Playdough's The Republic

Rocking Horse

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

Inaction Figure

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

'I could only afford a Yo.'

'I think it's nice for kids to have wooden toys.'

Kids today

Toys Were Me

Jack-in-the-time capsule.

Clockwork Doll

'A rocking horse? Boy! What will they think of next?!'

Rocking Horse

'If you lose your electrical charge before you get to a recharge, you just wind this.'

"Well, of course you have a heart."

'I've been unfaithful to you - last night I slept with my train set.'

Child wanting to play with traditional toys.

Something above the common

Toys try to reclaim child from video game

"Sorry, but the will clearly stipulates that Rex gets the vintage squeaky-toy collection..."

"I think you wound it too tight."

"Hi kid. I'm gonna be your favorite toy ever! In 40 years, you'll shell out 2,500 bucks for a near-mint version of me to help you forget that you're a fat, balding, 50 year old loser."

Factory-Second Magic 8 Balls

'Jock in the box'

Man playing with toy cars and toy soldiers.

'I got this from my Grandma but I don't know how to use it... No USB port, no display, no plug...'

"This doll doesn't do anything. . . is it dead?"

'Dill! Stop being a freakish modern day cow-relic chewing throwback! Ok?'

Beanie Babies