Classic Toys Mugs

Jack-in-a-box popping out of a computer monitor.

"In my day, we got bubblegum in our hair, not drones!"

Playdough's The Republic

Rocking Horse

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

Inaction Figure

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

'I think it's nice for kids to have wooden toys.'

'I could only afford a Yo.'

Jack-in-the-time capsule.

Kids today

Toys Were Me

Rocking Horse

'A rocking horse? Boy! What will they think of next?!'

Clockwork Doll

'If you lose your electrical charge before you get to a recharge, you just wind this.'

'Barbie dolls don't need internet access.'

Child wanting to play with traditional toys.

Publishing Co. Publishing the President's civil war diaries is a good idea, but there must be a better title than "The Lincoln Logs."

Something above the common

'I've been unfaithful to you - last night I slept with my train set.'

"Well, of course you have a heart."

Toys try to reclaim child from video game

'Jock in the box'

"Sorry, but the will clearly stipulates that Rex gets the vintage squeaky-toy collection..."

"Hi kid. I'm gonna be your favorite toy ever! In 40 years, you'll shell out 2,500 bucks for a near-mint version of me to help you forget that you're a fat, balding, 50 year old loser."

"I think you wound it too tight."

Factory-Second Magic 8 Balls

"This doll doesn't do anything. . . is it dead?"

'I got this from my Grandma but I don't know how to use it... No USB port, no display, no plug...'

"Your Pet Rock fell and crushed my Beanie Baby again!"

Man playing with toy cars and toy soldiers.

"Gramps, how do these things work?"