Classic Novels Gifts

"I'm sorry, sir, but Dostoyevsky is not considered summer reading. I'll have to ask you to come with me."

'You may see a great creation, Dr. Frankenstein... but I only see a great heck of a Product Liability Problem.'

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

'Gramma, can you help with my homework?'

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

Mopey Dick.

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

'I don't know about you, Tex, but I thought that the relationship between Elizabeth and Mr Darcy was darn tootin'.'

Bram Stoker

'Look at him, Tom. He is so obsessed with that silly cell phone that now he wants to be called Blackberry Finn.'

Hoodie reading 'Crime and community service'.

'Please listen carefully to the following options...'

Ahab's Last Call.

'Mr. Weller Attacks the Executive of Ipswich'

Mobile Holmes.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Kid reading Tolstoy's 'War and Peace' as Dad brings in 'The Three Bears'.

"So what if I read gothics all the time? To Eyre is human!"

Thomas Hardy

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

'Here's one for you.. she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire.. enjoys terrorizing villages..'

Oliver Reed-Twist: 'I'll arm wrestle you for some more.'

'Frank Jones? Frank White? Frank Smith? Frank...oh, I give up, what other Frank is there?'

'Offhand, I'd say your bolt is too tight!'

Robert Louis Stevenson

Don Quichotte

Don Quixote hauls off captured windmill.

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

"We had to read 'Great Expectations' in English class. Frankly, I thought it would be a lot better."

Edgar Allan Poe almost ruins his public persona.

Moby Dick Trophy

Oliver Twist

Man and his dog both reading Mockingbird books.

'Mr. Heathcliff will be in an almost idiotic excess of unsociable moroseness until lunch...shall I pencil you in for a two o' clock?'