Classic Literature Nerd Gifts

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

One of the three kings give Frankenstein's Monster a shoulder ride

"'Moors? I thought you said 'Ye Old Pour Me More Tavern'... Is that a new dress? Wait, why are there two of you? Okay, let's dance... Where's Dracula?'"

"It's got four gigs of RAM and wi-fi."

"You're going to hate yourself."

Tut and Carmen.

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Victor Hugo

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Honoré de Balzac

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

The Demise of Tinkerbell

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Out To Lurch

Joan Hickson

Iliadette.

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

Robocop and Juliet.

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Scarpia from Tosca

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

Sock Puppet in Literature