Classic Literature Nerd Gifts

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

One of the three kings give Frankenstein's Monster a shoulder ride

"'Moors? I thought you said 'Ye Old Pour Me More Tavern'... Is that a new dress? Wait, why are there two of you? Okay, let's dance... Where's Dracula?'"

"You're going to hate yourself."

Tut and Carmen.

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Honoré de Balzac

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

Out To Lurch

The Demise of Tinkerbell

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

Joan Hickson

Iliadette.

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Sock Puppet in Literature

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Robocop and Juliet.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

Multi-Generational Books

Scarpia from Tosca

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'