Classic_humor_buff Gifts

Servant telling a visitor that the mistress isn't in and a girl revealing the truth

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

Backfire

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Cat Nip.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'He does lack social skills.'

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Bloody hell!"

Cheeze Wiz.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"I have no thumbs."

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

The Golfing Accident

"Is there a vegan option?"

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

Cat Hecklers

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

"Beware of the frog"

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

Wedding disaster #27.

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"Scotch and water musick."

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"And would you like flies with that?"

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."