Classic Baseball Fan Gifts

Willie, Mickey & The Duke

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'Remember the...um...the...uh...oh, yeah...remember the Alamo!'

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Remarkable run-ups 1890-1940

Sheltering in place.

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

Monster Baseball

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

'You've caught a bad chill. You must avoid draughts for a couple of weeks.'

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

'He's not a skilled pitcher. In fact, he throws like a nerd...'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'Dad says I can't come out tonight. It's some sort of infield fly rule.'

'Is that the look of love or the look of hearing a home run on your bluetooth?'

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

'Time out! He needs a hug!!'

'The nurse wanted you to pee in THIS type of cup.'

Classic Halftime Shows (Super Bowl III)

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'

'Me? Argue? ...No, sir! That was an excellent call.'

Sign Him.