Class System Satirist Pillows

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

Ethics exam cheater.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

'I think you have figured out that, with today's overcrowded prisons, pleading insanity will put you back on the streets..."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

"When I said my teacher had no class I meant class was canceled."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

"Certainly you're entitled to justice, if you can show that you deserve it."

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

"Parts and labor?"

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

Students renaming 'in' and 'out' trays with 'shake it all about'.

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

"Before we begin today, may I say that both my client and I were astonished that Your Honor was not nominated for the Supreme Court?"

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

Home for the Holidays

'Ms Phipps! Joey accidentally brought his grandmother's cream cheese and cucumber sandwich for lunch! Call 911!'

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to have your butt kicked.'

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

Capitalists Courageous

"It's true that I'm overdrawn but the bribes for improving coursework marks are coming in now!"