Class Distinction Satirist Pillows

Home for the Holidays

Ethics exam cheater.

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

"It's all about you, isn't it?"

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

"When I said my teacher had no class I meant class was canceled."

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"I try to keep my classes relevant."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

"...And you get hazardous pay for study hall periods."

'Think Basics.'

Students renaming 'in' and 'out' trays with 'shake it all about'.

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

"It's true that I'm overdrawn but the bribes for improving coursework marks are coming in now!"

'It's the new guidance counselor. He's lost.'