Class Satire Lovers Pillows

Cut out and keep your own Butler.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

Jack in the box on strike.

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

'The secret of life has been unknowable ever since we assigned it to a committee.'

"Stop calling everything Kafka-esque

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

'You've a broken lamp and your underlay's dangerously worn.'

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

Messalina- Probably Intended to Illustrate 6th Satire of Juvenal

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

'The peasants aren't so bad, Son -- it's the bourgeoisie that's so darn judgmental!'

Coping with Normalcy

'...All I can say is, the judge was adamant about his gag order on the case.'

'Down here, greed is totally unregulated.'

"Hey! I was looking all over for you. You have the wrong piece of paper."

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already read what you just confessed on your blog.'

'I don't think it was a very productive year for Ms. Read. We learned to use all twenty six letters, and she only learned to use the 'C'.'

'I was just checking your records, Kleinzweck, and you have a Ph.D.. in pseudoscience!'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

"Your son has an unctuous, grasping, power-hungry quality we find unattractive in a five-year-old."

'Dear Sir. Not much a letter, is it?'

'Your husband has...charisma? Oh we had one - but the big end kept going.'

". . . and now, someone who needs no introduction. . ."

'Ready for your performance review?'

'Give me your bag Oscar, if you want to do the genius gag.'

"It's been redacted for security reasons."

Mistress Dominatra, Esq.