Upper-class Satire Fan Pillows

WAITROSE - 8 Posh People or less

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

I say if life gives you tapens, make tapenade.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

'They've all tested positive for stress.'

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

Frosty decides to have a carrot job

'They're clouds, Bob. You can't channel surf.'

'We need more cake shows!'

'Your evaluation is based on what you do in the next 30 seconds. Go!'

'We have to retract that article. One of our co-authors is the night watchman.'

'Could you give me big tits?'

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

Statue Selfie

"The ball of wool channel? Who the hell signed us up for that?"

"I like everything about this neighborhood except the people who can afford to live here."

"I never realized how hard my grandparents had it until I learned they had to go to a library to plagiarize things."

Dog Days

Two Men Dining.

'Report cards are coming out soon. If you're a gambler, take the under.'

"Welcome to serf orientation. Please find your groups and we'll begin with a trust exercise."

"This leads to the actual library."

Cut out and keep your own Butler.

'There's a refreshing honesty about this programme, dear.'

'Mr Jenkins, please meet my right hand Mr Jones and my left leg Mr Miller.'

'I called the 24-hour Teacher Tech Support Helpline but they were closed. Apparently they are open 24 hours but not in a row.'

'We've had a total of twenty-seven dropouts this term. The total is thirty-two if you count the teachers.'

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Potholes.

'An Oxford don'

"You couldn't handle my hot dogs!"