Upper-class Satire Fan Pillows

WAITROSE - 8 Posh People or less

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

I say if life gives you tapens, make tapenade.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

"Ancient Aztec shaman-kings predicted a coming together of all the cultures of the world, creating a new enlightenment for human beings."

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

'They've all tested positive for stress.'

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

'We need more cake shows!'

'They're clouds, Bob. You can't channel surf.'

Frosty decides to have a carrot job

Messing Up My Metrics

'Your evaluation is based on what you do in the next 30 seconds. Go!'

'Could you give me big tits?'

'We have to retract that article. One of our co-authors is the night watchman.'

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

"The ball of wool channel? Who the hell signed us up for that?"

Statue Selfie

"I never realized how hard my grandparents had it until I learned they had to go to a library to plagiarize things."

"I like everything about this neighborhood except the people who can afford to live here."

Dog Days

"This leads to the actual library."

Cut out and keep your own Butler.

Two Men Dining.

'Report cards are coming out soon. If you're a gambler, take the under.'

"Welcome to serf orientation. Please find your groups and we'll begin with a trust exercise."

'There's a refreshing honesty about this programme, dear.'

'An Oxford don'

'I called the 24-hour Teacher Tech Support Helpline but they were closed. Apparently they are open 24 hours but not in a row.'

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Potholes.

'How can we get 'retrained'. We never got trained.'

"To all the owners of cars in our parking lot: your left blinker is on."