Class Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'Your husband has...charisma? Oh we had one - but the big end kept going.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

Every class has one. . .

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

Teacher's pet dog

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"No, you can't ask Alexa a quick question. This is a test, so you're on your own."

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

'Your homework got washed away with your house! A likely story young man! See me after class!'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."