Class Critique Lover Mugs

'Old Etonian - you can tell by the air of effortless superiority.'

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

Master's Degrees of the Universe

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

"One can be against entitlements, and still feel a sense of entitlement."

Cleaner in front of interview panel - 'So what makes you want to apply for the job of Equity Fund Manager?'

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

"O.K., here I am in the fourth grade, but is that really what I want to be doing with my life?"

Karl Marx

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

'I want to open a joint account with the riches man in town. . .'

"I like our history teacher, but he talks too much about the past."

"Do you mind if I put this on instagram?"

Hosni Mubarak blinks

"Well, the x-rays show you have a little arthritis in your hands, but mostly they're just poorly drawn."

The Letters Of Jean-Paul Sartre To His Mother

Jerry Falwell, Master Hater

'They always off the mom.'

Gin Lane.

"Stay right there. I'm practicing poverty distancing."

'It's not fair! I'm socially excluded from gang culture.'

"Oh for goodness sake grow up Gerald. You know that just encourages them"

"I've been trying for days, but I can't get hold of the Superintendent for Accountability."

'He was a grateful man...just not in a good way.'

"Is there someone here who is sensitive to the banking needs of women?"

Fortune 500 Earnings

"I'm one of those vegetarians who eat meat."

Chimney sweep complaining about getting covered in dust

"You couldn't handle my hot dogs!"

No Job Prospects? No Problem!

"I really hate it when guys pinch my bottom."

"The following programme may contain attitudes and language that you'll gleefully take out of context and subsequently bombard social media with your humourless, self-righteous fury..."

Big Society, the universal sticking plaster