College Critique Lover Mugs

No Job Prospects? No Problem!

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Master's Degrees of the Universe

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

Monkey Business College

"I loved your embarrassing personal essay in the 'Times.' "

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

Nutty Assistants

Uni. Snowflake Library

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the consultants."

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

Fake Diplomas

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

"Ugh... Jerry Saltz is totally junking up my feed again."

Hosni Mubarak blinks

"Do you mind if I put this on instagram?"

'African Idol': A bushman is receiving the judge's opinion which is:' Dat was bad . . . it sound nutting like watta buffeelow!'

"The technique is good, but somehow I feel that the artist didn't take enough time observing the subject."

'And, if elected, I promise to reach across the aisle, if you know what I mean...'

'They always off the mom.'

"Of course, at present Mademoiselle's neck is too long, but our Mr. Francis is going to change all that."

'Caution: Some content may be offensive to sensitive students.'

Fortune 500 Earnings

"Is there someone here who is sensitive to the banking needs of women?"

'You're quick to criticise, but slow to help.'

'Damn! The uni has introduced new anti-student chairs."

King Solomon, ethical slut.

"The Squire theater is just two blocks down, right on the corner. the show thee, 'Whispers of Danger' is a standard mystery, with a lackluster second act. Mis Laporte, however, gives the most lyrical and sensitive performance of her career."

"Oh, shush! You live by Janet Maslin, you're going to die by Janet Maslin."

"The following programme may contain attitudes and language that you'll gleefully take out of context and subsequently bombard social media with your humourless, self-righteous fury..."

"Primitive? Compared to what?"

Honorary degrees for sale, $5 each.

'Liberal Arts' and 'Conservative Crafts.'

'Yes I do have the time but it'll cost yer, granma.'