Circus Tech-tamer Gifts

Clown receives 'hee hee mail'.

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Multi-tasking.

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

(No caption. Signs on file cabinets drawers read, "Files Saved to Hard Drive," "Files Saved to Disk," "Files Saved to Traveldrive," "Trash.")

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Barnum & Bailey's Three Ring Binder

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

"Just put that in my, 'I'll get to it when I can, I'm only human' pile."

New Swiss Army Knife

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

'Oh, for god's sake just ignore it!'

"Most projects require three hands."

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

Overwhelmed by Paperwork

"It seems that your body is adjusting itself to the amount of multitasking you've been doing."

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'And when I was fifteen, I ran away from the circus to join an accounting firm.'

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

Secret Family Recipes

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

"Sometimes I like to think back and reminisce about tomorrow."

"I replaced my G.P.S with auto correct, and every time I try to go right, it makes me go write...."

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

Clown on a motorised unicycle.

Dave had yet to master his new nail machine gun.