Circus Aficionados Gifts

Will cure your fear of clowns for donation.

A clown rides in a hot air balloon animal.

P.T. Barnum

"I'm sorry - he has to be put down."

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

"I'm leaving you, Al. And I'm taking my mother and the cats with me." "Laughing on the outside, laughing on the inside."

"There's no weapon in the pie. The weapon IS the pie."

Clown has hit wife with custard pie. Marriage guidance counsellor says: 'Does he end every argument like this?'

Popo the clown, cereal killer.

Clown in coffin. Mourner says: 'They've done a lovely make-up job on him.'

"Okay, I'm intrigued."

'Until we find work, we might want to consider trading in our car for something smaller.'

Trojan Horse Clown Attacks

Children's Parties

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

Clown on bike.

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'He's maturing early.'

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

Litter Tray Training

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

Clown God

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'