Cinematic Music Lovers Gifts

'Nest, my impression of Beethoven's sonata inD major, of.31, no.2, as played by Humphrey Bogart.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Bloody hell!"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"Housekeeping?!"

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"The Eggsorcist"

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

Star Wars Audience

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, in all the solar systems, in all the galaxies, in all the universe, she walks into mine.

Tom Hanks

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Hooray for Bollywood!

THE WICKERMAN (Hollywood style)

Cinéma Vérité

I watched an erotic thriller last night. Have you heard of the film 'Field of Dreams'?

"How come there's no feel-good performance art?"

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

"Let's see, we bought the giant pop corn, tow giant sodas, and a big box of candy. . . we were lucky the megaplex's loan department was open!"

Cinemuck

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

Harriet Walter

Medieval headlines.