Cinema Snack Critic Pillows

'Say, aren't you the guy who owns the theater I go to? The one with $5 small sodas and $6 popcorn?. . . Well then, you'll understand if my bill for unstopping your sink is $33,000?'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Jewish Geometry

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

"Get those things away from me- I can't stop eating them."

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

"I just had a terrifying glimpse into our snack."

'He asked me if I wanted to put anything on my burger, so I had a tenner each way.'

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers

'Owing to the very real threat of biscuit-related injuries, the snack of choice for meetings will now be blancmange.'

'I've coughed up more attractive things than this snack.'

"With these electricity prices we can't afford cooking anymore. Imagine eating sausage-favored popsicles."

'They're not that intelligent.'

'Manna! Matzoh! If I knew the food would be so bad on this trip, I would have stayed in Egypt.'

Pope-Corn - the Pope cooking his own brand of popcorn

'It's just a few things your concession stand doesn't carry - fried chicken, potato salad, pumpkin pie...'

"I have no trouble losing weight...it's just that I'm better at finding it."

"Tasty and nutritious? Any five year old knows that's a contradiction in terms."

'Not ME... I'm watching my cholesterol!'

Cull people who eat big bags of potato chips during a movie.

"I don't care if it is the best value... next time we're just getting a MEDIUM popcorn!"