Cinema Nerd Gifts

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

First Novels.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

John Bunyan

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Bloody hell!"

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

"The Eggsorcist"

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

Moby Dick

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

Jack London

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Tom Hanks

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

Star Wars Audience

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Addicted to reading

Hooray for Bollywood!