Cinema Guru Gifts

The Spy Who Loved Me

"I'll talk! I'll talk! Just turn off the director's cut."

'Artistic it might have been, but those sort of films ought to be banned!'

Hugh Jackman

Showbiz Awards

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"I feel a great disturbance in The Force."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

Succession 2

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

Musical genres

The sunglasses.

After I crossed the road, I began to ask myself why I did anything.

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

'He's a parody of a tired genre.'

'Well, actually my first big break was a slither-on part in 'one was flown into the cuckoo's nest'.'

School of journalism and politics.

Pharmco Marketing Dept. We have an improved measles vaccine. How should we promote it? TV spots!

Computer whisperer.

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

Cave Man Hanging Framed Cave Paintings

Geek Intuition

"We're being accused of talking down the economy...I want the idea looked at on pages 1,3,6 and 7 with a colour spread in the supplement."

Woman carrying Bridget Jones video : 'I got your gangster film. It's a special edition with alternative scenes.'

Hamlet's Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson Contemplates Show Business.

Everybody is having a great time! I'm more than just the party host --- I'm the master of my fete!

Ladies night at the bowling alley.

Bernard Derome: If the trend continues...I'll be retiring in 2009.